Thursday, April 28, 2011

Walking a Known Path

Knowing the path and walking the path are two completely different things or so I am learning.

Guide my knowledge to the path of true spiritual enlightenment
I had asked
But how can I become enlightened
When I refuse to submit to the guidance
When I refuse to accept
That my life is moulded by a greater Potter
That my heartstrings are strummed by a greater Violinist
That my life's frescoes are painted by a greater Painter
That veilling my true self by a lesser ego,
Denies me constantly the imbibed nourishment of a truth that will see this world as more than being
Just about me

Written: 28 April 2011

Owning My Loaned Self

I stopped inside my head
To feel anything,
To appreciate anything.
Brain dead in a deathless society;
Deathless because there is no life worthy to lose by death,
No colour to fade away from this canvas,
Just pain, agony, hurt without hope of healing,
Darkness without hope of illumination.

This is a life of self reliance,
Of belief that I can control, that I can provide.
In the end all I can do is submit to simply be without being
For having refused to submit to become.

Written: 28 April 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

BMD - Bipolar Mood Disorder

Being bipolar has been an uphill battle towards acceptance of the illness. Just dealing with the diagnosis is a rollercoaster ride of its own, but I am grateful for where I've been because I can now look back and be even more grateful for where I am now. Although when I was in the throes of the illness, I would not have believed the Quranic verse but now I know that if I am steadfast or at least strive to be, after great calamity does come greater relief. (Surah 94)

OK, you're bipolar
Correction, I'm bipolar
(Just now they'll think I'm schizo as well)
One mental ward down
Who knows how many to go
  A time bomb
I guess
  Will it explode
I hope not
  What's the purpose of this poem
I haven't figured out yet

These are just thoughts
I love thoughts
They are my gateway to the universe
And Beyond
(Buzz light Year Copyright)

But they give freedom I can't know in this world
Escape from who I am
Who am I?
A lost soul trying to negotiate through fog
Have you ever tried to see in fog
The best you can do is trust your intuition
My intuition is a manic

But pity me not
I go through life with a sword in each hand
Tearing through a battlefield teeming with the enemy
And I am still alive

You're just you

Written during a particularly low point in November 2008, Alhumdullilah it does come to pass

Monday, April 11, 2011

Teardrops from Heaven

I have a fascination with the gift of rain, one of Our Creator's greatest bounties.... hence the poem

Send me teardrops from Heaven on days when all of mine have dried.
When the pen refuses to ink the page
And all that I feel is a void.

Send me teardrops from Heaven to let me feel the comfort.
The soothing, gentle wetting of my skin
To guide me through the desert.

Send me teardrops from Heaven, so I'll know that someone's watching.
In a world where all is lost and alone,
Let me build my hope in Heaven

Send me teardrops from Heaven, send me teardrops from Heaven.
For then I'd have a part of Heaven in my world
And my world will become one with Heaven.

Written: 22 December 2008