Ponderings - A poetic exploration of my humanity

Life

2012-02-15T21:57:00.000+02:00

Tears warm the eyes, infusing life into deadened skin

Running till your lungs burn and your heart beats out your back
Shocks your body into remembering you're still alive

And when every corner claims a space

And when every space claims a time

Just scream to remember
your mind still thinks,
Your muscles still flex
And your heart still feels

For what is life but a test

Embrace it!

Let it break you, for it will

And let it build you - for it can

and let it show you that there's craziness in organisation
freedom in submission
and beauty in even the greatest of monstrosities

And then you will find
Understanding in Abstraction

and

purpose

in obscurity

I had quite a politically inappropriate title for this poem, but chickened out cos I didnt want to pollute the minds of younger readers or more sensitive folk, but if I've roused your interest then maybe you will work it out

(life's a b!!!!, s@@g it).
If you didn't get it, be grateful your mind is not like the rest of us.

Socialism

2012-01-16T22:21:00.000+02:00

I dared to believe -
In buttercups and raindrops
In clouds shading a sky of stars, planets and worlds anew
In rivers curling and forging to oceans expansive and blue

I dared to believe in ecosystems so divergent,
Yet intertwined in crests and ebbs of dependencies and antagony
I dared to believe,
In the beauty of smiles
In the poignance of hearts
In courage and honour

Please dare to believe
In the harmony of creation's orchestra
In the necessity of individuality ripening to the fruition of interdependence and inter-reliance
So that we may become the parts
Heightened to a whole
Gratified by not the escalation of some through the trouncing of others

But by the raising of all through a system of nurturing, love, forgiveness and giving

And then - there will be no need to believe
For certitude through our efforts will tantalise our senses,
Infuse into our sinews,
And open our hearts to our
True reality

The dawn before the dawn

2011-12-27T23:57:00.000+02:00

Surah Asr, The Time, says surely the human being is in a state of loss except those who believe, who do righteous deeds and preach truthfulness and steadfastness. I felt that the entire practical recipe of a seeker was summed up in this one verse... and of course felt so overwhelmed by its beautiful conciseness that I had to write about it, :-), in a quite unconcise fashion

from a time of living

from a time of loving

from a time of giving

How did we transform

to a time

of self-destruction,

of neighbourly need rejection

of illusion that we know enough to be independent of oneness

dark days we have brought upon this sun rise,

so dark that they frighten even the night sky

its time to turn back the clock

to return from the brink of societal obliteration

begin with a belief that we are more than ourindividualities – does the cello supersede the orchestra

begin by practising the belief that our only preservationwill be through doing righteous deeds

begin with a simple, yet immensely difficult, commitment totruth

and glue these altogether by steadfastness, in the face oftsunamis of temptation and cyclones of fear

stand your ground

stand for what you believe

and raise not just yourself

but the entire fabric of humanity

Transitions

2011-12-24T23:22:00.000+02:00

Where indigo ends and violet begins, does even the rainbow know?
And who can separate the sun's outer rings from its ball of burning inferno?
Or would we be so bold to declare the exact point of transition from day to night?

Each of these are so definitive in their individuality yet so bonded in their expression,
Then how do we dare to isolate the Rabb from the Rasool
For the Rahmatalilalameen will not be without the Rabbilalameen
And the Rabbilalameen will not be known without the Rahmatalilalameen.

Transients

2011-12-08T18:26:00.001+02:00

Dear Day
Should this moment pass and I feel never again the warmth of your sun's greeting
How would I know that day had existed at all

Dear Night
As the stars light up, should my light cease
And the moon no longer navigates my time in the earthly world
How would I know that it was only through darkness,
That I was able to see the seas of distant suns

What of me will you, oh earthly world, remember
When my journey extends beyond this time and these heavens

Nothing

Nothing save the memory of my deeds
The magnanimity of which will tell for how many generations
-If one even-
The yarns thereof will continue to be spun

There is no legacy worth leaving to this world
Except a legacy of mercy, actioned by deeds of giving
Giving of the worldly things
Giving of the knowledge of things
Giving of the love, kindness ad laughter
Giving in all its forms
Without bias
Without care of the recipient's worth
Unjudging, uncontrolling giving

For the sake of nothing but My Creator's
Mercy and Giving unto me

Allah

2011-11-02T23:12:00.000+02:00

Stand in your otherness
The colour of your skin, the roots of your religion
The balance of your possessions, the heritage of your people

Stand and embrace your differences but discard your divisions
See your existence and your universe for all its multiplicity
But discern its unity, its Oneness

Embrace it as parts of a whole,
Until the individualities dissolve
Into the completeness of its unification

And let your identity be not muslim or irish
White or even human
But simply an instrument of creation

And through every thought
Through every word and deed
Supplicate to Oneness

To the One
The Independent
The All-encompassing

Breaking Through

2011-10-18T21:40:00.000+02:00

You made me of light, a reflection of your own
And I enshrouded it in a heart,
Secured it in a cage
And enveloping sinews.
I covered up in clothes
And retreated into a house of bricks and stones.

How many layers, how many moats have I built around my reality?

Too many - to even perceive that which is real.

Veils upon veils, till the light is dimmed, a murky memory that it is even there.

Seeing only the illusions of my coverings,
I have lost myself in this maya.
A quagmire of false aims.

Help me,
Free me,

To become luminous once again.

Dua

2011-10-18T21:31:00.001+02:00

Close this heart, all that pours out are feelings of impunity.
Stop this mind, wreckless is it in its wield over my responses.
Narrow-minded is this reaction, seeking only sensory gain in a world that ought to be so much more.
To the fire it leads me, smouldering all that's wholesome that I have been given.
Knowing its destruction and power to overwhelm, this passion soars eating towards the egotistical desire -
Blinding, deafening, numbing the goodness that seeks to fight back from the soul.
No more logic, no more reason;
Only the barrenness of the self; conquering from within, then obliterating the life without.
Darkening the soul, veiling the vision, rendering me lost and grey in a world of hues.
The point of no return transcended, self repentance is denied by lustful self destruction.

But even in the forest obliterated by ravenous flames, a sprout can burst through the charred soil.
A plea for help can bring down the healing rains from the heavens
And belief in a nurturing, bountiful force, far greater than the inferno
Can bring hope to the scorched battleground.
And even when self-forgiveness seems beyond the horizon of self-reconciliation,
A mercy can extend to help germinate
From the lowest of the lows
A seed of inner beauty.

Light, Love, and Mercy
That knows no bounds can raise me from the seared ruins.

All I have to do -
Is ask.

Life

2011-10-04T09:22:00.000+02:00

You can labour on the shore,
Observe the waves
And work out the best angle to dive
The correct amount of momentum to use
And how you will emerge once the crest has passed

But until you actually step in and take the plunge
You will not know the coarseness of the sand in your hands
The burning of your eyes as salt washes over it
The thrill of the crest crashing over your back
As your legs wave into the air
And the feeling of your head resounding from the coolness of the moving water

Controlling, planning, estimating, supposing and hypothesising
Is not living

Life is sensual - feeling, tasting, smelling, seeing, hearing
Life is being - choosing, experimenting, trying, succeeding, failing
Life is living - flamboyant, enthralling, unnerving, heart-rendering, confounding

Thoughts without action are life's untested theories

Let your being be an action, not just a thought
Let your diving be an experience, not just a dream

And let your life be infused with living and not just untapped potential

2011-09-23T23:16:00.000+02:00

24 September is Heritage Day in South Africa. A country with such a beautiful kaleidoscope of cultures has much to celebrate on this day.

My Mongrel Me

The lotus blooms as the home is blessed with a new born child
Lamps radiate and incense fragrances the air as the Hindu home celebrates a new life -
A perpetuation of it culture

Born on African soil the young girl embraces the drums and ululations of the land,
Sekunjalo ke Nako!
The tongue, dress and toil in the Zulu sun defines an African identity in the lotus child

With the teenage years comes a desire for westernisation
Burgers and Levi
Dances to the beats of hip-hop, RnB and soul

And as maturity begs questions of who we really are
Islam is an idealogical embrace

My mongrel me inherits from the riches of all the cultures that grace this land
A medley of languages, expressions, foods and dresses
But binding it all is the glue of our commonality:
Our morality, our need for friendship, our dignity in differences
And our love for diversity

Happy Heritage Day!

Written: 23 September 2011

Iblees

2011-09-22T19:48:00.001+02:00

I realise this is quite a harsh poem but when I learnt that Iblees was a muslim gone astray it made me stop and question my own islamicness. Its easy to call myself muslim, but was I really conducting myself as one or was I simply in a delusional state. It is hoped that when you read this poem you stop and question too.

He was a moslem - spending years in prayer supplicating to the One

Yet despite his claim to submission his belief was all but gone

Pride, jealousy, self elevation were the jewels that crowned his faith

And in that deterministic moment he refused to bow - instead he became irate

"I am of fire!", he claimed. Self-importance crowding his mind

Leaving no room for service to his Creator, he became deaf, dumb and blind.

Why does the Quran tell us this story? Is this the role model to which we've succumbed?

His was the character of one that went astray

Yet we emulate his characteristics as if it were the straight way

Pride, jealousy, self elevation are the jewels that crown our faith

Where is the need for Shaytaan in this world, when only our egos we satiate!

Written: 22 September 2011

Hearts of men

2011-09-16T23:47:00.000+02:00

Been watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and its hard to imagine a movie that could move me more, (exaggeration noted), my favourite themes from the movie and favourite quote from Gandalf are encapsulated in the poem below.

when beauty starts to fade,
when winter's snowflake melts into forsaken ground
when drudge and drear stabs at this heart beckoning it to fear,
my breast will swell in agony

my mind will shiver in the echoes of defeat

my tongue will seek to utter words of submission complete
but in my heart the belief of man's goodness will resonate
it will unleash a power from within that shakes off these fetters and bounds
Hope in truth

hope in an essence of good
hope in striving for something bigger and beyond ourselves
The times we live in is never a choice
but how we embrace it, how we honour this gift of life
will see us to a beauty beyond the fade,
a sprout on ground once hard with death
and a man once lost who is now found

Written: 16 September 2011

My Appeal to My Creator

2011-09-16T20:22:00.001+02:00

Bless me with the clarity of soul to think with a clarity of vision
And grant me the strength of character to act in obligation to the enlightenment I might receive
For my thoughts without action is the lowest form of belief
Hence may I speak out when silence beckons a backdoor escape
And may I stand to be counted when running neuters the dignity of the righteous thought
But above all may I act in courage and tenacity
Honouring the knowledge of a rightful deed when apathy strays me from the accurate path

For ignorance is an illusive bliss
and inaction a repudiation of Your Beneficence

Tempering the Temperament

2011-09-10T12:25:00.000+02:00

Perhaps my humanity is more than bipolar.
I pondered.

Perhaps?
I questioned.

It's obvious.
I rationalised.

I hope.
I dreamed.

Yet, a labelised label haunts my very definition of me.
Eats into the fibres of my definitive demeanour,
Shackling my actions, shafting my thoughts
Into a quagmire of self analysis
That cannot really reveal anything analytical.

Still I have to stop, start seeing myself as more than a societal stigma.

Belief in a soul that is my reality, raises me above abysmal lows,
Lightening this burden.

Yet - I fear

And in fear, I find balance - a wild horse on reigns
Hoping to become a guided horse with direction.

Written: 10 September 2011

Sunnats

2011-08-29T22:13:00.001+02:00

TS Elliot said, "You do not have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body." This poem is inspired by these words and the sunnats of Ghaus e Azam (Radhi Allah ta ala anhu), RasulAllah (SalAllah hu alaihi wa sallam), and Hadrath Bilal (RadhiAllah ta ala anhu).

If I outstretch my arms and seek to praise You, would you not fill my cup of intoxication?
If I expand my breast to bear my heart, will you not embrace me in all Your Glory?
And if I unsheath my sword to celebrate You, would You not let me hail Your praise and proclaim it from the rooftops?

For am I not me unless I live of You,
And if I imbibe not Your energy and act of Your Will,
I will cease to be true.
For I will be of what I have and not of what I am.

Written 28 August 2011

Sujood

2011-08-17T22:38:00.001+02:00

Let the clouds drift by, I heed them not for I am in love.

Let the stone walls crumble, I fear them not for I am protected.

Let the waves ebb and flow, they wet me not for I am immersed.

Let my actions act, let my pen write, let my words utter,

Let my present simply be.

Render me unconscious of an unconscious state,

for i yearn to belong to Thee,

and the only way i can

is to not make a mine of me.

but stop fear overwhelms me, the whispers of a need for control plagues me

my faith weakens as I flounder in questions

doubt overcomes my desire for union

Then through the tumult a flicker flares,

this path may not be as easy as I had hoped yet neither is it impossible,

could I expect more from a war?

This battle I might have lost but I shall fight again … and maybe again

This dream of perfect submission shall remain an ambition until ambition is annihilated in total submission

Written 17 August 2011

A Ramadaan Perspective: The Riches of the Poor

2011-08-09T08:21:00.001+02:00

Ramadaan is a month of abstention and suppression of our worldly desires. Part of the lessons we should learn is what it feels like for those who don't have and to open our hearts and give, having experienced a semblance of their pain. Another learning point is to amplify our gratitude and our sense of obligation to Our Creator by experiencing what it would be like to not have His Bounties.

He gave me food in abundance
Yet instead of being grateful, I became wasteful
He let water flow freely whenever I was in need
Yet instead of being conservative, I made it impure
He gave me a heart and showered upon it mercy, kindness and love
Yet instead of opening it and sharing His bounties I became arrogant, deluding myself that I was a king amongst men

Yet you craved a slice but he gave you morsels and you praised Him for the nourishment of your being
Yet you cried in thirst and He gave you drops to obscure the dryness of your mouth and you prostrated for the gift of this pristine coolness
Yet He made your trials tough and still you shared your meagreness knowing and understanding the pangs of not having

And while He had knocked onto my door with all the treasures of Heaven, I ignored it and plunged myself into hellfire
And though He gave you perceivably less, you opened the door and your gratitude urged Him in
And now for your feet are the cloths of Heaven

Written: 9 August 2011, 9 Ramadaan

Kisses of Notes

2011-07-31T21:46:00.000+02:00

Kisses of notes whetted my skin, tingled my senses, and I bobbed in rhyme,

But the dance was ephemeral and the music stopped.

Kisses of notes permeated through to the treasures of my heart and I met ecstasy:

We soared in a dance of flight,

I twirled with the gift of song,

And in its beauty,

In the sparkles of rhythym, I met the reality that is my Maker

And drank of the dance that is His Nourishment

Written: 31 July 2011

Silent Din

2011-07-20T22:12:00.001+02:00

Oh silent noise inside my head, oh distractful din
Stop your whispers, your distractors
Your suggestive sin
I yearn for quiet solace
I plea freedom from your banter
There's a world out there that remembers and sings submission's song
Stop, oh silent noise inside my head
Oh distractful din
Stop your whispers, your distractors
Your suggestive sin
Let me resonate the music of creation's rhyme
Subjugate you, I must, to reach The Sublime

Written: 8 July 2011

Jihad

2011-07-09T16:51:00.000+02:00

"Stop!", I said. "Enter not this sanctum with me, you are not worthy."

Yet covertly, steadfast to purpose you stole in with feline stealth in search of your prey.

I knelt in desire of submission, but you whisked up your ugly visage,

And obliterated my quest for union.

O, hateful pride! Against you I wage war.

You pollute the pristine waters that was this heart.

For your distractions and destructive whispers, I summon you to battle.

My sword may fall but a willing captive I pray I will not be.

Written: 8 July 2011

Illusive Heaven and Hell

2011-07-09T16:43:00.001+02:00

May we aspire to Your Bounty and drink of the rivers of Heaven
May we dread of Your Wrath and not cinder in the fires of Hell
And all the while may we remember Your Love and be guided by the infinite blessing that is Your Mercy
For Heaven and Hell are but detractors from our true purpose
And we shall only taste the honour of free men when we submit in love and gratitude
And act not out of intents of receiving or averting
But rather to celebrate Your Glorious Reality

This piece is based on a quote by Hadrat Ali, Radhi Allah Ta Ala Anhu,(note I could not verify this reference but liked the quote) : "There are people who worship Allah to gain His Favours, this is the worship of traders, while there are some who worship Him to keep themselves free from His Wrath, this is the worship of slaves, a few who obey Him out of their sense of gratitude and obligations, this is the worship of free and noble men"
Written: 8 July 2011

African Son

2011-06-24T21:48:00.001+02:00

The sinews that stitch this heart

Unmesh in agony at your plight

We are of one soil

Yet, dear brother; I did fail to fight

Our souls were lit from a common lamp

From One we came

To One we shall return

Yet our journeys diverged

When sides were drawn

The fence, our brotherhood, did not befriend

And you

Into your shame did plummet

You are my brother, I know that now

You are my brother

But while I yearn for your forgiveness

I cannot ask till I offset

This perpetuated wrong

And give you back your dignity, dear brother

Written: 21 June 2011

The Pillars and the Oil

2011-06-02T11:18:00.000+02:00

I looked inside myself

And found my true essence was in eclipse

I stepped outside myself

And found my true essence was fighting to be known

I fought inside myself

To bring forth the truth that had been veiled

I forge forward outside myself

Sustained by the inner light that flickers dimly but stays alight

I merge the outer to the inner

The pillars illuminated by the oil

And amidst it all, I dream to drink of the Cup of Union

A Cold Spell

2011-06-02T11:11:00.001+02:00

It was a cold winter's day

That I sought Your warmth

My fingers blue, my skin blistered

I yearned for the nurturing blanket You would wrap around me

Had that warmth come freely I would not have known its treasure

Had I drunk of Your sunlight without knowing this thirst

I would not have felt the resonance of Your Praise

From this trial sprang forth a desire for comfort

And when this relief upon my door knocked

In a brief moment all that existed was You

And all I could feel was the light, the warmth

The nurturing blanket of Your Mercy

2011-05-18T20:55:00.000+02:00

A Short Dissection of My Humanity

When I first became Muslim, I was very focussed on being muslim, defining myself as a muslim and presenting myself as a muslim, but with age, less religion and more spirituality perhaps I find myself questioning a more profound identity. I find myself reflecting on what it means to be human. It was after-all the gate to the city of knowledge[1], Hadrath Ali, Radhi Allah ta ala anhu, who said that there is a greater brotherhood and that is the brotherhood of mankind[2]. If this pivotal role model is considering himself above all else, not a muslim but a human being, shouldn't I be striving in a similar direction?

Now the more difficult question, what does it mean to be human? In my younger years, I had written a few poems trying to elucidate who I am, but even now it feels a little more complex than I am actually getting to grips with.

Recently however, I have begun grasping the concepts of Nur and Ruh. A poor translation for Ruh is the true self which links back to the Creator. An even weaker translation of Nur, is that energy or light that was first created by Our Creator.

The first of creation is the Nur of Muhammed, Sallalla hu alaihi wa sallum. All of creation stems from his Nur, which is the best of moulds. Humans then, with the introduction of nafs or ego are abased to the lowest of low and this is the fabric of An Naas or modern man. Incidently, Naas means one who has forgotten.

So maybe one definition of humanity, if I may draw from Surah Tin (chapter of the Quran entitled The Fig) is that man is one who has a Ruh. Ultimately, the Ruh is created from the Nur of Muhammed, Sallalla hu alaihi wa sallam. Acting against this Ruh, is a nafs or ego that bases him or her to a low such that he or she has forgotten his esteemed roots of creation. On an aside, gender correctness is driving me insane so I'm just going to use the masculine but imply both.

The purpose of mankind is to establish a relationship with his Creator and those that are amongst the most elevated in creation. Coupled with establishing these relationships is the need to suppress the nafs sufficiently and subsequently remember and renew the Ruh-centric relationship with one's Rubb.

Now it all sounds very neat and concise like an Oxford dictionary definition on paper, but oh if only it were so simple. Knowing a silhouette of a path and walking that path are two totally, almost completely foreign to each other things, and so am I discovering.

There is no “Idiot's Guide to Nafs Suppression” or “Unveil Your Ruh in 21 days” that you can read, follow and have your goals as a human being achieved. Instead, my naivety is painfully learning that it is difficult, convoluted, sometimes esoteric even. But every now and then I have this lightbulb that goes on in my head and I feel that I am not completely lost.

I love thinking, in fact, I used to muse that if I had a blog it would be, “Are you pondering what I'm pondering”, I eventually settled on ponderings because the former was taken but I digress. I was thinking about jealousy or envy and I was trying to relate it back to a relationship with Allah Subhana wa ta Ala.

It's something I try to do, define my actions in terms of building a relationship with my Rubb or Creator. Then the light bulb, by succumbing to jealousy what am I implying about my Rubb. Am I saying that the Most Just cannot discern or discriminate what is due to me or that the All Knowing, Most Wise cannot see what is due to me or even that the Most Powerful, Most Mighty cannot give me what is due to me.

Ma-azallah (Our Creator Forbid)! The thoughts jolted me sufficiently into realising that this very basic indulgence of the nafs can lead so readily to an absolute contravention of my Islamic beliefs.

So now to accompany the idealogy, I need to learn practically more about (in this instance) envy and not succumbing to it. This is not meant to be a post on the subject so I won't get into that aspect here, but I just merely want to re-emphasise the change in perspective.

By seeing, analysing and interpreting our actions in terms of a relationship with Our Creator we will gradually be clearing the murky waters of our nafs to reveal the pristine pureness of our Ruh which really is the point of this arduous journey we call life.

This article ends abruptly here because the concepts get too difficult to elucidate in a short piece as this and I am far from being an authority on the topic. If you are interested to learn more I will much rather suggest books by spiritual giants like Sheik Abdul Qadir Jilani Radhi Allah ta ala anhu(Secret of Secrets is my favourite) or Imam Ghazali Radhi Allah a ala anhu (Alchemy of Bliss or Ilhya Ulum e Din).

References:

Tirmidhi, Kitaab al Fitan, Fine Qualities of Ali: hadith is hasan gharib
Ali bin Abu Talib: Nahjul Balagha
Surah Tin Online: http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/quran/095.qmt.html

A Sufi's Shariah

2011-05-13T21:32:00.001+02:00

I veiled my head in hope of unveiling my Ruh

What began as an outward quest

Uncurled to be an inward journey to what was true

Unsheathing my Sufi sword I wage the war

Each battle's honour - the hope of a glimpse of you

I began this journey as "I" began this poem

Only to realise there is no me nor I

The only reality is Nur

Written: 12 May 2011

Walking a Known Path

2011-04-28T11:34:00.002+02:00

Knowing the path and walking the path are two completely different things or so I am learning.

“Guide my knowledge to the path of true spiritual enlightenment”

I had asked

But how can I become enlightened

When I refuse to submit to the guidance

When I refuse to accept

That my life is moulded by a greater Potter

That my heartstrings are strummed by a greater Violinist

That my life's frescoes are painted by a greater Painter

That veilling my true self by a lesser ego,

Denies me constantly the imbibed nourishment of a truth that will see this world as more than being

Just about me

Written: 28 April 2011

Owning My Loaned Self

2011-04-28T11:07:00.002+02:00

I stopped inside my head

To feel anything,

To appreciate anything.

Brain dead in a deathless society;

Deathless because there is no life worthy to lose by death,

No colour to fade away from this canvas,

Just pain, agony, hurt without hope of healing,

Darkness without hope of illumination.

This is a life of self reliance,

Of belief that I can control, that I can provide.

In the end all I can do is submit to simply be without being

For having refused to submit to become.

Written: 28 April 2011

BMD - Bipolar Mood Disorder

2011-04-20T21:35:00.000+02:00

Being bipolar has been an uphill battle towards acceptance of the illness. Just dealing with the diagnosis is a rollercoaster ride of its own, but I am grateful for where I've been because I can now look back and be even more grateful for where I am now. Although when I was in the throes of the illness, I would not have believed the Quranic verse but now I know that if I am steadfast or at least strive to be, after great calamity does come greater relief. (Surah 94)

OK, you're bipolar
Correction, I'm bipolar
(Just now they'll think I'm schizo as well)
One mental ward down
Who knows how many to go
  A time bomb
I guess
  Will it explode
I hope not
  What's the purpose of this poem
I haven't figured out yet

These are just thoughts
I love thoughts
They are my gateway to the universe
And Beyond
(Buzz light Year Copyright)

But they give freedom I can't know in this world
Escape from who I am
Who am I?
A lost soul trying to negotiate through fog
Have you ever tried to see in fog
The best you can do is trust your intuition
My intuition is a manic

But pity me not
I go through life with a sword in each hand
Tearing through a battlefield teeming with the enemy
And I am still alive

You're just you

Written during a particularly low point in November 2008, Alhumdullilah it does come to pass

Teardrops from Heaven

2011-04-11T21:07:00.004+02:00

I have a fascination with the gift of rain, one of Our Creator's greatest bounties.... hence the poem

Send me teardrops from Heaven on days when all of mine have dried.

When the pen refuses to ink the page

And all that I feel is a void.

Send me teardrops from Heaven to let me feel the comfort.

The soothing, gentle wetting of my skin

To guide me through the desert.

Send me teardrops from Heaven, so I'll know that someone's watching.

In a world where all is lost and alone,

Let me build my hope in Heaven

Send me teardrops from Heaven, send me teardrops from Heaven.

For then I'd have a part of Heaven in my world

And my world will become one with Heaven.

Written: 22 December 2008

The XX Twist

2011-03-30T22:07:00.001+02:00

We're moody, we know

Five minutes to shower takes an hour, we know

We get angry too quickly, we control too easily

Grey hairs are a no-no, kids bounce us around like a yo-yo

We know.

We know!

But inside us is a heart that soars with the gentle breeze

A mind that is mindful of paying more than just school fees

We care about the world and act in the context of our families

Threaten those we love and see a pushover kitten transform into a lion

No, we are not perfect - we don't strive to be

No, we are not feminists - for the world needs balance

But we are guided by our hearts

We are reminded of the need for mercy, love and soulful care as we raise and nourish the joys that passaged through our wombs

We act in a man's world

But we live in a women's world

For the heart of a women cannot sustain except

In the world of a women

And in our living, and in our loving, in our un-understood craziness

We forge ahead with a prayer of guidance from the Lord of All Worlds

For HE -

Knows

Written: March 2011

A few thoughts to think about

2011-03-18T23:46:00.000+02:00

Putting these thoughts in point form really makes me feel like I think too much, but I wanted to share this with you and hope it will stimulate a bit more discussion and comments on the blog. These were written during the course of 2010.

1. With every breath we breathe in towards life and out towards death;
Let me rejoice that I am living,
Rather than despair that I am dying.

2. The water that has the gift of quenching thirst also has the power to drown

3. You cannot discipline a child into following religion, rather nurture the heart and give them the wings to blossom into it

4. No one is lost, some of us just fail to see how we are being guided

5. Be free because you are not free

6. If Islam was in books, Abu Hakam(became Abu Lahab) would be the Nabi

7. To see the splendid beauty around you, you must first unmask the heart to the discerning beauty within

8. Geotropism and phototropism are both pivotal for the tree to flourish

9. When fear and grief equate to ecstasy and gratitude, you know you have been found.

10. Life is a gift but love is a responsibility for you can never truly embrace the gift of life without the experience of love

11. Salman Farsi (Radhi Allah ta ala anhu) is my Makkah and Ayeesha Siddiqa (Radhi Allah ta ala anha) is my Medina

12. Potential is always subservient to the Will of our Creator.

13. Heaven is when the eye through a lens of Ruh, sees a universe of Nur.

14. Information overload keeps enlightenment in the hands of a few. This is a stranglehold on power over the masses. Through knowledge that unites the heart and the mind in proper balance, we shall find liberation from illusion.

15. Like the earth, the oyster must look inward for its jewel, similarly must we.

16. How much we can learn from the banana that allows its skin to blacken and blemish with ease, yet carefully protects the nourishing fruit within.

17. Its far more worthwhile to polish the receptacle rather than the received.

Ghaus e Azam (The Great Spiritual Axis)

2011-03-15T21:53:00.001+02:00

Sheik Abdul Qadir Jilani (RA) is known as the Sultan of Saints. This poem was written to commemorate Egyarwee Shareef, which is the 11th of each Islamic month. This day was set aside each month for him to avail himself to those who sought his help.

Five years outside Baghdad, you did plunger on
Fighting your nafs, banning the whispers anew,
Giving impetus to the riches of your Ruh.
Like a perfectly blooming flower,
You rose in stature in the gaze of your Rubb
Till the day was dawn, you became a perfect abd.
Abd al Qadir is your name
May He be pleased with you, we praise.
In gratitude, we seek comfort under your cloak
You are our axis, our Ghaus.
We look to you remembering your love,
your loyalty, your nurturing force.
Your Qaseeda we balance on our lips,
While in our hearts in tears of comfort we do confide,
Knowing that your promise is to keep by our side.

Written 10 Rabi al Thani, 15 March 2011

Balancing the Imbalance

2011-02-28T21:26:00.001+02:00

If I look to you, I see a world of hopelessness

Tragedy and loss in a world of unfairness

If I look to your plight, I ask why

How can a God of Mercy be so harsh

Are you not of His creation, worthy of His bounty

Yet, if I look at me, I see only His Mercy

His Bounty

I feel blessed, gratitude for the magnamity of His Giving

I need nothing more, I want nothing more

How can the world be so double-edged, so imbalanced

Till I realise, that He gave me all to not need

But He gave you, me

For my bounty is not mine, but a trust

To take what I need and to give what I can

For my giving is His Giving and my mercy is His Mercy

And in my actions will be His Justice

Written: February 2011

Wonder Land

2011-02-23T22:41:00.000+02:00

Up to now the posts have had a strong spiritual basis, I have decided to take a break from the spiritual stuff for a while and put up some of the more general poems as well as maybe some that may be classed as bipolar poetry(yes such a class does exist, and yes there is a website to prove it)

I want to sit upon the shores and wonder why the waves ebb and flow
I want to close my eyes and let the wind kiss my cheeks as it whispers hello
I want to curl up inside of me and cry because the world is so grim
I want to open up my heart and soul and feel the rhythm soar within

All this to do in a world that does not seem to understand
They want to live by their watches, their dimes and their office
How they make my Wonder Land so BLAND

Written: 23 December 2008

Relationships with Our Rasul (S.A.W)

2011-02-18T11:24:00.000+02:00

This snippet is based on an exploration of our relationship with our Nabi (S.A.W) in the context of developing a relationship with our Rubb(Creator). It is based on an Islamic teaching that you will not know your Rubb unless you know yourself.

To understand my creation,
I must look to you
For you were the first.
To understand my direction,
I must look to you
For you are the purest.
But to understand my end,
I must look to myself
For while you give me context
I will not understand The Ultimate
Without understanding me
And I will not draw to the Ultimate
Without a realisation and unveiling
Of the self that binds to you.

Written: 16 Feb 2011

Answers

2011-02-14T20:55:00.000+02:00

At 17, I was, like many teenagers, very confused and feeling quite lost. I then came up with the formulae of Think, Question, Answer. It's something the rationalist in me holds on to even now. If we never think, we will never question and if we never question, we will never find answers.

Deeper and deeper,

my searching spirit plunges into an abyss of uncertainty

Will I ever stop falling -

only time will tell

and in that time I can only grope,

probe this blanketed darkness

Think, question, answer

find myself

find me

The person behind this mask,

This face, is that only.

A face - character unknown,

But then what is character:

Man's innate ability to copy others?

Is it something acquired, something born?

Is my character me, or who I think is me?

Questions, questions

I'm falling

Drowning in this void, this confusion

I've got to hold on

Find ground

Find who I am

I got to

I must

Think, Question, Answer

Written: 1995

A Time to be Grateful

2011-02-13T18:02:00.000+02:00

I am grateful for my imperfections, for they teach me humility
I am grateful for the unwieldiness of my thoughts for they teach me restraint
I am grateful for the wrong for it teaches me discernment
I am grateful for the temporal for it teaches me endurance
From the negative, we can realise the positive if we seek within ourselves to find our True Sustainer and His Purpose for our lives.

If we were perfect, we would never learn humility and that would render us imperfect.

Take me back

2011-02-13T13:18:00.002+02:00

A few years ago, we visited Palestine. It was a heart-rendering experience, that even in poetry it is difficult to capture.

In a hefty silence, we walked out with a melancholic gait.
But as our backs turned the corner we knew our hearts had stayed behind.
In this land of Ruh, in this sacred ground;
How could we just leave and not feel the need to expound
Our longing to return even as we had just left.
It was more than of our hearts that we would be bereft.
Today weeks later, the longing still stirs.
Masjid Al Aqsa again in my thought appears.
Is it to my heart that I wish to hasten.
It is really for the Heart that this crevice of longing deepens.
Take me back, take me to the warmth of the light.
Take me back, take me soon to the land of Nur

Written 16 May 2009

Ode to the Wilde:The Importance of Being Human

2011-02-11T20:26:00.000+02:00

Perfection is my imperfection
Or at least the desire to be such
But what is perfection
Is our need to perfect our humanity
Simply making it imperfect
For our very imperfection leads us to perfection
But again what is perfection
Or even what is humanity
And more so is it important to be human
Questions probing, probing questions
Yet answers evaporate as seamlessly as if it had never been there
Have you ever tried to grasp on to steam
And hold it in your hands?
Yet close your eyes, let yourself free and it effortlessly condenses
On your lips, your face, your very you
That is perfection
Perfection is letting go
Giving yourself the freedom to be you
And in that liberation
Giving flight to your soul
Your inner beauty swells, erupts and soars
The more you experience and learn from you
The more you perfect yourself
Eventually it becomes pure Ruh

Written: November 2008

Iman for Islam

2011-02-08T21:31:00.000+02:00

Wait I said, I'm not ready to leap
Jump! You echoed Time waits not for the undecided.
Will you ever be ready? You plungered on.
Have We not given you so much reason to trust?
Leap? I questioned. But that would mean I would be relinquishing all control.
Believe! I affirmed, You have never given me reason to distrust.
I jumped, and You caught me, raising me from the lows of my tumbles.
I believe! I reaffirmed.
Trust came from past experiences,
But certainty came from jumping.

Written: 24 December 2010

A Mercy to All Creation

2011-02-08T21:15:00.000+02:00

When the day was lost,
When all else was tossed;
You opened your heart, your hands, your voice,
And for my sake compromise was no choice.
I hold on to your mantle, a grateful gravitation,
For I know till this world's end, your dhikr will be for my salvation.
A mere morsel in a world so vast,
Yet your mercy extends to the last.
A gift from Our Creator you were from the start,
Helping us all to play our part
In this universe with which He us did entrust
So that we may learn to love, believe and be just.
With you as our guide, our nafs we must deny,
For the unveiling will be worth more than Heaven can provide.
Now with this knowledge a responsibility I cannot ignore
For you have taken me to my Ruh's shore.
To continue this journey a witness I must become
In thought, deed and word, I must succumb.
Yet even as I strive your mercy will mean,
I will be guided and helped for you are Rahmatallil ala meen

Written: 20 December 2010

The Return

2011-02-03T21:12:00.000+02:00

As these guided hands couple,
I raise my heart but lower my head
To ask of You that which You already know.
My eyes gaze at the floor, my lips quiver
In nervousness of making a request.
But my heart leaps,
Soars to the loving openness of a relationship that precedes Time's test.
For while this man's body is of one who has forgotten
This true self is from one that remembers and yearns for union.

Written 27 Nov 2010

A Resonant Praise (Alhumdolillah)

2011-02-02T22:40:00.000+02:00

I live awake yet I sleep,
Blinded by the veils of my ego.
My consciousness of an incorrect self
Rendering me unconscious in an illusive realm.
How do I awaken to a truth that unveils my veils?
I open hands to plead for an opening of my heart:
My submission begins by an admission that my will is not my will.
I cup hands to ask more of you than these humbled hands can ever contain,
Yet I know Your Mercy will give more than I even begin to contemplate to ask.

Written: 22 Nov 2010